“Yoni” is the Sanskrit word for the female intimate anatomy, the word yoni describes not only the anatomy but also the encompassing female erotic energy. As women we are full of images and ideas about sexuality. We are used to slipping into sexual roles and experiencing our desire in a specific framework. We are used to thinking of ourselves as girlfriend, wife, mistress, passive, active, in love or simply after sex. Every woman develops certain sexual behaviour patterns, even during masturbation.

It is important to let go of these ideas and images. Only then do we truly create a space that allows us to experience new aspects of our sexuality and expand our notions of what sexuality can be. For many women this is a challenge and the yoni massage can be a pathway to achieving this openness because the yoni massage invites women to simply do nothing for a change, to inhale deeply and dive into new bodily sensations.

The goal is not an orgasm, but an orgasmic mind, which opens up to the whole erotic experience and a recognition of what happens without any expectations attached.

In the process of yoni massage the giver lights a fire of erotic delight in the clitoris of the receiver. This erotic sensation must be lovingly nourished throughout the massage, sometimes more, sometimes less, tending to the wave of erotic sensations which the receiver experiences. Nourishing the yoni with touch so that the receiver is awash with pleasure and acceptance. The giver is careful to avoid over stimulation, taking care of the receiver so that their pleasure is tended to in a way that meets their own sensual pleasure.

Do not be discouraged if at first things don’t go the way you had hoped within the yoni massage, let go of expectation, and let your giver know what it is that you need, direct them in what feels good to you. The yoni and female sexuality are too complex for easy answers.

Approach yoni massage with an open, curious, aware and loving attitude. The possibilities are many for you to expand your sexual consciousness and experience. Your yoni massage giver is there to serve you, accompany you and guide you on this path.

Adapted from the book, Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy by Michaela Riedl.