The first phase of preparing to massage your partner is to begin with the intention to honour them and enabling them to receive.

As the giving partner, prepare a loving, pleasant and warm space. The space can include fresh towels to lay on, a calm atmosphere can be created by candles and relaxing music.  Prepare all the things you will need for the massage including oil (e.g. grapeseed oil) and towels. You may want to warm the oil by placing the bottle of massage oil in a warm cup of water. As the giving partner lead the massage session.

Establishing Initial Physical Contact in the Tantric Massage

• You can choose to sit with your partner, facing each other, in the space you have created for the massage. Ask your partner to give you their hand and take their hand in a gentle and loving hold. Then offer them your hand, in return to hold. This creates a connection between you. Even though you are the one giving the massage, it is impossible to give with your touch in a loving and meaningful way without also experiencing touch that is loving. Now offer a personal invitation, such as “I invite you on a sensual journey”, and you can add more to the invitation as you like.
  Sit down behind your partner, and place your arms around them in an embrace, enable your partner to lean against you resting their head against you. In this intimate embrace you can breathe slowly in rhythm with each other, this will relax both of you, and create a physical harmony between you.

Beginning the Massage

• You can then invite your partner to lay on their stomach. With feather light touches gently stroke your partners back with your finger tips, with long slow touch, or teasing touch, caress their hair, lightly touch their ears. Touch their whole body in this way, from their head to their toes.

• Test the temperature of the oil before applying to your partner’s body. Pour a little oil into your hand and with care in slow movements distribute the oil over your partners back, arms and legs.

• Let your hands glide like waves and flow steadily across your partners body, with the oil between your hands and your partners body, this will enable the gliding motion. Have the intention to lovingly touch your partner, changing the speed or the pressure as desired, be careful to avoid the spine, and any other bony parts of their body. Focus on fleshy parts of the body, where the areas of muscle are. If your wrists are loose this will enable you to massage in a soft and gentle way.

• Begin by massaging your partner’s back, shoulders, spend time here as this is where a lot of tension is stored. Include the arms, gently gliding over them. Then move to your partner’s legs, first one leg then the other. Take your time, explore your partner’s body. When you are ready invite your partner to turn over.

• When your partner is laying face up, place your hand on their heart and the other hand on the crown of their hand. Take a moment here. Then begin again, touching the whole body lightly. Apply oil. Massage their body from head to toe, simply through gentle, slow touch, aiming to embrace their whole body.

Finishing the Massage

• When you are ready to complete the massage hold your partners hand and then gently let go.  As your partner gently wakes up from their relaxing massage spend some time in an embrace, and offer them a glass of water.