“Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

In our culture of busyness people tend not to be very present in the moment, they are not self aware, or are not aware of how people around them are feeling. In the busy momentum of life people don’t listen to their own body and what they need as a human being. People are often on autopilot attached to schedules, tech and punishing deadlines. People tend to be addicted to doing.

When given the opportunity to sit still, people feel compelled to check messages or social media, anything that distracts them from the present moment. These days, with our minds bouncing all over the place, it can be uncomfortable to just be in our bodies.

Mindfulness can help you become comfortable with being in the moment without the need to run towards a distraction which fills the moment with noise. As you come to practice mindfulness, you can eventually bring these powers of mindfulness and focus into the bedroom to improve intimacy and a sense of feeling connected to your partner in the moment. This can enable you and your partner to focus more on pleasure, sensations and intimacy as you become aware of each other in the moment and respond to each other’s needs.

If you are new to mindfulness or are interested in mindfulness here’s a simple mindful exercise you can try.

Turn away from the computer, tablet or phone and sit for a moment noticing the sensations in your mind and body.

How do you feel? What can you hear?

Try to be as present in that moment.

If your mind wanders off to tasks that you have to complete or starts working over things that happened yesterday, recognise this thought and then let it go. You can imagine letting go of the thought like a helium balloon and letting it float away from you.

Gently bring your mind’s focus back to the present, listen to your breathing as you breath in and out. Just be wherever you are for a few moments.

Remember mindfulness is not about trying to make sense of anything, it’s about attention to that moment.

Adapted from Dr. K Wise’s article on sexual wellbeing, erectile unpredictability and mindfulness