Breath Training
The Tantric sages tell us that our in-breath and out-breath actually mirror the divine creative gesture.
With the inhalation, we draw into our own centre, our own being.
With the exhalation, we expand outward into the world.
– Sally Kempton, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga
Here’s a meditative and uplifting music track to practice your breathing exercises with
Wellbeing
Boosting your joie de vivre may help you live longer, as a sustained sense of joie de vivre, or the joy of living has linked to increased longevity.
A new study from the University College London (UCL) suggests that the more you are able to enjoy life, the longer you’ll live. In fact, the researchers found a dose-response association between feeling a sustained sense of satisfaction and life enjoyment over the course of several years was linked to a reduction in all causes of mortality. The December 2016 findings from UCL were published online in The BMJ.
In recent months, there’s been a groundswell of reports linking subjective well-being as marked by a sense of joie de vivre, the joy of living, having a positive outlook about the future, and a lack of chronic pessimism with lower morbidity and greater longevity.
As an example, last week researchers at Harvard University reported that people who are optimistic and believe that ‘good things will happen in the future’ tend to live longer than their less-optimistic counterparts. This study appeared online Dec. 7, 2016, in the American Journal of Epidemiology.
Based on growing evidence in recent years that there is a correlation between having a positive outlook on life and longevity, the UCL researchers tested 9,365 men and women aged 50 and older (average age 63) who were taking part in the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA). Each study participant was asked to self-assess his or her levels of life enjoyment at two-year intervals between 2002 and 2006. The associations with mortality were analyzed through 2013.
For the record: While analysing the data, the researchers adjusted for a wide range of factors that could inherently make someone’s life more or less enjoyable such as underlying health conditions, wealth, levels of education, clinical depression, etc. Obviously, if you’re living in poverty or with an illness, it’s more difficult to feel upbeat and positive about your life circumstances.
Based on various responses to four questions about self-reported life enjoyment, the participants were graded on a continuum between ‘never or rarely’ experiencing any joie de vivre to experiencing life enjoyment ‘sometimes or often.’
After analysing the data, the researchers found that a total of 2,264 (24%) reported zero high levels of enjoyment in life, 1,833 (20%) reported one episode of high enjoyment, 2,063 (22%) reported having two, and 3,205 (34%) reported having three episodes of high enjoyment.
In the discussion of their paper, the authors write, “A graded effect was apparent, with progressively higher mortality among people with fewer reports of high enjoyment. In the fully adjusted model, the hazard was reduced by 17% among people giving two reports of high enjoyment of life, and by 24% in those giving three reports.” The researchers conclude that a sustained level of life enjoyment over a four-year period was systematically related to a lower risk of death.
Again, the authors stress that this is an observational study. So, it’s impossible to draw causal conclusions. Nonetheless, they believe these results “add a new dimension to understanding the significance of subjective well-being for physical health outcomes by documenting a dose-response association with sustained well-being.”
The new report linking joie de vivre and longevity from UCL corroborates the findings of the recent study on optimism and longevity conducted by Eric S. Kim and colleagues at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health mentioned earlier. In an abstract for their December 2016 study, Kim et al. said –
Growing evidence has linked positive psychological attributes like optimism to a lower risk of poor health outcomes, especially cardiovascular disease. It has been demonstrated in randomised trials that optimism can be learned. If associations between optimism and broader health outcomes are established, it may lead to novel interventions that improve public health and longevity.
Kim and his team analysed data from 70,000 women between 2004-2012. The researchers focused primarily on each participant’s levels of optimism. They also looked at other factors that might play a role in how optimism might affect someone’s odds of dying prematurely based on factors such as high blood pressure, diet, and physical activity. In a discussion of the findings, the researchers state –
Optimists appear to differ on numerous processes that are critically important to a broad spectrum of health outcomes. It has been shown in several studies that optimism is associated with a healthier lipid profile, lower levels of inflammatory markers, higher levels of serum antioxidants, and as noted above, better immune responsiveness.
Other investigations have suggested a slower rate of telomere shortening over time, healthier autonomic function, and higher levels of heart rate variability. Indeed, results from these reports of associations between optimism and a wide array of health factors are consistent with our finding that optimism is associated with multiple causes of death.”
Kim and colleagues found that the most optimistic women had a 38 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease; 39 percent lower risk of dying from stroke; 38 percent lower risk of dying from respiratory disease; 16 percent lower risk of dying from cancer; and a 52 percent lower risk of dying from infection.
Another valuable study on optimism and pessimism was published by researchers from the University of California, Riverside (UCR). This research offers a valuable window into the thin line between being a “Pollyanna” (who sugar-coats everything and never takes off his or her ‘rose-tinted glasses’) and someone who is pragmatic when assessing the reality of terrible situations in life.
Interestingly, the UCR researchers found no differences between optimists and pessimists when it comes to the initial feelings of dread that creep in when someone braces for potentially bad news. The December 2016 study, “Even Optimists Get the Blues: Inter-Individual Consistency in the Tendency to Brace for the Worst,” was published in the Journal of Personality.
In a statement to University of California, co-author Kate Sweeny, psychology professor at UCR, described the findings of her study,
“Although this tendency to brace oneself for potentially bad news is common, intuition might suggest that some people are more likely to brace than others—in particular, happy-go-lucky optimists would seem immune to the anxiety and second-guessing that typically arise as the decisive moment draws near.
[But] counter to intuition, optimists were not immune to feeling a rise in pessimism at the moment of truth. In fact, not a single study showed a difference between optimists and pessimists in their tendency to brace for the worst. Fortunately, it seems that even the most ardent optimists can temper their positive outlook when it pays to do so.”
All the scientific data on the benefits of having a positive attitude, enjoying life, and being optimistic is useless if you can’t put this empirical evidence into action by increasing your own levels of daily joie de vivre. The good news is that making a conscious decision to see the glass as half-full and looking for a silver lining (even in the worst of times) is usually in the locus of your control.
The very joyful thing about seeing ourselves and life from a place of gratitude instead of entitlement is that this way of breathing allows us to be forgiving of difficult circumstances in life and of those people who delivered such difficult circumstances to us.
Gratitude allows us second chances at joy; not with the same circumstances or those same people; but it alleviates the burden of bitterness that comes with not receiving what one believes he/she was entitled to have.
We can instead look forward into life and see that there will be many good things and we will be grateful for them.
― C. JoyBell C.
Blog
Orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, although they seem to occur simultaneously. It is important to note that either of these events can occur in the absence of the other.
Sexual desire is a complex interaction among cognitive processes, physiological mechanisms (hormones), physical well-being, and positive mood all affecting the drive toward sexual fantasy or behaviour.
If a man encounters something that excites him sexually, messages are transmitted to the portion of the brain dedicated to sexual response. Many men believe that sexual arousal is always accompanied by an erection, but this is not necessarily the case at the first stage.
A number of other things happen during the early stages of sexual arousal. The brain is flooded with natural chemicals that act similarly to drugs such as cocaine. These natural chemicals, called endorphins, make the man say to himself that whatever is causing the sexual arousal is very enjoyable and should be continued. If the sexual response is the result of observing another person, the man may make an effort to meet the other person involved.
Most men will produce pre-ejaculate when anything considered to be sexually exciting occurs, perhaps even reading a sexually explicit story or watching a sexually explicit movie. There is no limit to the length of time that a man can be aroused, and throughout arousal the man can continue to produce drops of pre-ejaculate.
Normally, excitement is followed by erection. An erection of the penis occurs as the spongy tissues of the penis are engorged with blood. There is one large primary artery responsible for blood flow into the penis, but several veins that drain the penis of blood. When an erection is not happening, the inflow of blood and the outflow is maintained in balance and the penis remains flaccid.
During erection, blood flows into the penis and holes in the spongy tissue in the penis fill with blood. At the same time, flaps in the veins leading out of the penis enlarge, cutting off the drainage. As a result, the penis fills with blood. As more and more blood flows in than out, the penis enlarges and becomes harder.
Finally, veins in the penis are compressed from the increasing pressure from the erection itself. Heart rate and blood pressure also increase, the pressure of blood into the penis increases, keeping the penis hard.
Research indicates that stimulation of the septum, a portion of the brain known to be a part of the limbic system, results in the feeling of an orgasm, but this stimulation produces neither an erection nor ejaculation. These findings support the theory that ejaculation and orgasm, though often linked together, are, indeed, separate events.
Learning how to achieve an erection just below the level, which leads to ejaculation is an important part of sexual enjoyment. It is important for the man to learn how to read his body’s signals that orgasm and ejaculation are near. Psychologists call the point where the man is no longer able to delay orgasm the “point of inevitability”.
Learning how to lengthen the arousal and erection period while delaying orgasm is an important part of maximising enjoyment from sex. As the erection proceeds, the physical sensations become increasingly more and more exciting, and the psychological pressure to ejaculate becomes more and more intense. It is essential to learn how to keep the stimulation just below the level required for ejaculation, while learning to deal with the increasing psychological pressure to ejaculate.
The psychological pleasure becomes more and more intense, the longer the arousal can be maintained without ejaculation, but the greater the enjoyment for the man. Developing these skills and dealing with the psychological desire to ejaculate for as long as possible requires practice.
Women usually require a somewhat longer period of time to become fully aroused, so being able to delay orgasm potentially increases the enjoyment of sex by both partners.
All of the sections of the erect penis are not equally sensitive. Thus, by varying locations being stimulated, the man can perhaps delay orgasm. Stimulation of the base of the penis, near the body, while pleasant, normally will not be sufficient to achieve orgasm. The underside of the tip of the penis, called the “frenulum”, is very sensitive to manual stimulation. If this area of the erect penis is stimulated very much, an orgasm (and ejaculation) will occur almost immediately.
A significant portion of the penis, perhaps one- third to one-half of it, lies inside the body. This portion of the penis also responds to manual stimulation. It can be felt and externally massaged at a spot called the perineum area, which is directly behind the base of the scrotum. This is a little recognised but highly sensitive area of the male body. This spot is sometimes referred to as the “second male G spot” though many men are not even aware that it is a sexually sensitive area.
In addition to the possibility of externally massaging the interior portion of the erect penis, a bundle of nerves terminate here, and the main artery that is responsible for providing blood for erections runs through this area. Inside, but directly above this area lies the Cowper’s glands. It is likely that external massage of this area will to a certain degree stimulate these glands.
The prostate is a little further up, but nearby. It is possible and often very pleasant to externally massage the prostate, a walnut-size gland, responsible for secreting most of the liquid contained in the semen by pressing on the perineum, or directly inside the rectum, as the gland is located only about an inch inside.
With practice, a man can learn a degree of control over the point when he proceeds to orgasm and ejaculation. Some men believe that male orgasm invariably results in ejaculation, but this is not always true. Some men have learned techniques for having multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Many of these techniques involving squeezing of the urethra such that the semen is not allowed to leave the body.
As the point of orgasm approaches, pre-ejaculate production will normally stop, and the hole in the tip of the penis becomes slit-like. The testicles become hard and are drawn up near the body in preparation. Breathing becomes heavier, and there may be involuntary contractions of major muscles (convulsions) throughout the body.
Finally, the psychological and physical pressure to ejaculate is released in a series of muscular contractions, usually about 8 major contractions spaced a second or so apart, followed perhaps by several smaller ones that can last 45 seconds or so.
Ejaculatory Force: Generally the more frequently a man has an ejaculation, the less force that ejaculation will have. If one is able to ejaculate two to three hours after his previous ejaculation, the semen just dribbles out.
Semen: There is a wide variation in semen production, but about 60 percent on average, comes from glands called the seminal vesicles, whereas 38 % comes from the prostate, with the remainder from glands such as the Cowper’s.
Frequency of Ejaculation: According to a number of studies, Many post- pubescent young men report daily ejaculation, if not more frequently than that. This frequency gradually declines for most males to 2-3 time per week, which is typical of men in there forties. But there is still considerable variation among adult men of a given age.
Once the arousal has begun, there are physical and psychological changes that take place in men. As outlined earlier, typically, an involuntary message is sent from the brain to the nerves that control a series of valves on the veins by which blood is drained from the penis. At the same time, blood continues to enter the penis through the main artery, the heartbeat rate increases, and blood pressure rises. With blood flowing in faster than it is returned, the penis starts to become erect.
When the penis is flaccid, touch seems little different than touch on any other part of the anatomy. But as erection starts to take place, the nerve endings concentrated in the penis start to become more sensitive and pleasant to the touch.
Sexual tension has started. The first sexual feelings are rather unfocused, but as arousal begins, the man’s attention increasingly is focused on the sensations emanating from the groin area. Many men believe these sexual sensations occur only in the penis, but there are many other places in the groin area that are quite sensitive as well.
Equally interesting are the psychological changes that are taking place, something that few men acknowledge. At the initial stages of arousal, the man has no particular psychological “urge” to press forward to ejaculation. But as the arousal and erection continues, the psychological urge to press forward to ejaculation becomes stronger and stronger. This is the essence of building sexual tension. Psychologically, the man experiences the feeling of wanting more and more stimulation to continue and increase the intensity of the sexual feelings.
The entire experience can be likened to the winding of a “sexual” spring.
Increasing stimulation causes the “sexual” spring to be wound tighter and tighter, increasing the sexual tension. These sensations are extremely pleasant, but at the same time, the unreleased tension is also described as very “frustrating” by most men. Interestingly, some men describe this as a “delicious” frustration, and many agree that it is among the best, if not the best of experiences that life has to offer.
The tighter the sexual spring can be wound, the more exciting the sexual “ride” and the more “extreme” the ultimate release will be. This is a human experience not to be missed. Fully recognising this and fully taking advantage of these sensations and psychological urges in an effort to more completely enjoy them for a longer period of time without moving directly forward to orgasm, something that most men must learn. But the results are well worth the effort, both in terms of the man’s own enjoyment as well as for the benefit and enjoyment of a sexual partner.
Once the orgasm is complete, the valves which had maintained the erection, are opened and the penis is drained of blood so that within a space of a few minutes it has returned to its flaccid state.
Some research has suggested that testosterone produced by the sex organs in males and the adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) in females, has less to do with whether a man will become sexually aroused than is widely believed. Other recent research suggests that it is not testosterone, but a compound closely related to testosterone that is important. Ordinarily, after ejaculation, a man has no further interest in sexual activity of any kind. For a period of 10 minutes to perhaps more than an hour, or even days for older men. During this refractory period a man is physically unable to achieve another orgasm even if he is able to maintain erection.
The generally pleasant feelings of satiety, lack of interest in further sexual activity and sleepiness following the male orgasm, which many women do not appear to fully understand or appreciate, are primarily linked to a chemical called oxytocin that is released during orgasm.
Blog
“Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energised by it.
If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected.
Love is about having; desire is about wanting.
An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than passionate about where it can still go.
But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. They forget that fire needs air.
It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned their sense of autonomy and it’s hard to experience desire when you’re weighted down by concern.
The grand illusion of committed love is that we think our partners are ours. In truth, their separateness is unassailable, and their mystery is forever ungraspable.
And what is true for human beings is true for every living thing: all organisms require alternating periods of growth and equilibrium. Any person or system exposed to ceaseless novelty and change risks falling into chaos; but one that is too rigid or static ceases to grow and eventually dies.
This never-ending dance between change and stability is like the anchor and the waves. Adult relationships mirror these dynamics all too well. We seek a steady, reliable anchor in our partner. Yet at the same time we expect love to offer a transcendent experience that will allow us to soar beyond our ordinary lives.
The challenge for modern couples lies in reconciling the need for what’s safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what’s exciting, mysterious, and awe-inspiring.”
From Esther Perel’s, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
Blog
This 5 minute breathing meditation is from the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA
Audio for this 5 minute breathing
Find a relaxed, comfortable position
Seated on a chair or on the floor, on a cushion
Keep your back upright, but not too tight
Hands resting wherever they’re comfortable
Tongue on the roof of your mouth or wherever it’s comfortable.
And you can notice your body
From the inside
Noticing the shape of your body, the weight, touch
And let yourself relax
And become curious about your body
Find a relaxed, comfortable position
Seated on a chair or on the floor, on a cushion
Keep your back upright, but not too tight
Hands resting wherever they’re comfortable
Tongue on the roof of your mouth or wherever it’s comfortable.
And you can notice your body
From the inside
Noticing the shape of your body, the weight, touch
And let yourself relax
And become curious about your body
Seated here
The sensations of your body
The touch
The connection with the floor
The chair
Relax any areas of tightness or tension
Just breathe
Soften
And now begin to tune into your breath
In your body
Feeling the natural flow of breath
Don’t need to do anything to your breath
Not long not short just natural
And notice where you feel your breath in your body
It might be in your abdomen
It may be in your chest or throat
Or in your nostrils
See if you can feel the sensations of breath
One breath at a time
When one breath ends, the next breath begins
Now as you do this you might notice that your mind might start to wander
You might start thinking about other things
If this happens this is not a problem
It’s very natural
Just notice that your mind has wandered
You can say “thinking” or “wandering” in your head softly
And then gently redirect your attention right back to the breathing
So we’ll stay with this for some time in silence
Just a short time
Noticing our breath
From time to time getting lost in thought and returning to our breath
See if you can be really kind to yourself in the process
And once again you can notice your body, your whole body, seated here
Let yourself relax even more deeply
And then offer yourself some appreciation
For doing this practice today
Whatever that means to you
Finding a sense of ease and wellbeing for yourself and this day
This 5 minute breathing meditation is from the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA
Blog
Erectile dysfunction in younger men, according to a study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine, one out of every four new erectile dysfunction (ED) patients are under 40.
Psychological causes are thought to be the main reasons behind ED in younger men. Having said that, physical causes should not be dismissed.
If you have an off night, try not to let this stick in your head. Anxiety can lead to more of the fight-or-flight hormones, such as adrenaline, which may kill your erection dead in the water.
No problem getting an erection one day and then the next, uh oh? Us men are expected to be 24/7 erection machines. Truth is, having problems getting or maintaining an erection is common, whatever your age. The inability to get an erection can have severe emotional effects. And ones that, too often, we just don’t want to talk to anyone about.
First of all: You’re not alone. ED is not just a problem that affects older men. ED can also be a sign of other more serious underlying conditions like diabetes and hypertension, so going to see your GP can be a smart move.
Psychological causes are thought to be the main reasons behind erectile dysfunction in younger men. Having said that, physical causes should not be dismissed. Thing is, getting an erection is a bit like trying to fall asleep. The harder we try, and the more we obsess over it – the less likely it is to happen. So all the advice points to: Relax.
The most common psychological causes of ED include, according to WebMD:
Anxiety: If you experience ED once, there’s a natural fear it will happen again. This can lead to performance anxiety. And then to more ED. Sucks, doesn’t it?
Depression: This is a common cause of ED. Depression can cause ED even when you’re totally comfortable in a sexual situation. The drugs used to treat depression may also cause ED.
Guilt: Feel guilty that you may not be satisfying your partner? This can lead to ED – and the best thing to do is talk it out. Chances are that he/she will rush to reassure you.
Stress: Could be money-related, about your job, caused by family issues or relationship problems.
Low Self-Esteem: This can happen because of prior ED or could be about things totally unrelated to sex. Talk it out with a therapist or your GP, as well as your partner.
Indifference: Not thinking about sex as much as you used to? This can be about age, a result of medications or because of problems in your relationship. Or it could be something else entirely. Best to see your GP.
“If left unaddressed, it can become a vicious cycle. The natural fear of embarrassment and failure become associated with sex. So we avoid sex. And relationships may break down,” explains Dr Earim Chaudry.
If you have an off night, try not to let this stick in your head. Anxiety can lead to more of the fight-or-flight hormones, such as adrenaline, which may kill your erection dead in the water.
“If you think in evolutionary terms,” says Dr Chaudry. “It’d be hard to run away from a predator if you had an erection. So fight-or-flight chemicals are natural passion killers.”
“Erectile dysfunction in younger men tends to be more psychological, but you should get checks for things like hormone levels and diabetes – and try to improve your lifestyle,” he suggests.
Erectile dysfunction in younger men can be impacted by porn. What’s happening to our erections? In the last two or three decades, Erectile Dysfunction in younger men has gone up.
One idea that’s been floated is that porn, and porn addiction, may be to blame. In a study at the Max Planck Institute in Berlin, researchers found links between years of using porn and a decrease in grey matter in areas of the brain associated with reward sensitivity. The takeaway? Compulsive use of porn may stop men becoming easily aroused.
The medical world is divided on this. But porn-induced ED has been defined as when porn changes a man’s sexual appetite. So you no longer feel aroused in real-life situations.
Without a doubt, lifestyle changes should be attempted in all men with ED.
Smoking is an important cause of ED and continuing with smoking will undermine all interventions.
Being overweight or obese is associated with diabetes, heart disease and low testosterone. In men with mild ED and no known heart disease, weight loss has been shown to improve ED after 2 years, meaning that lifestyle change alone will usually need to be combined with medication. In men with known diabetes and heart disease, weight loss alone resulted in minimal improvement, meaning that medication will almost always be required.
Reducing alcohol consumption to safe levels of 14 units per week or less has been shown to improve ED.
Moderate exercise for 20-30 minutes, five or more times per week will help reduce ED as well as reducing the risk of heart disease and improving the response to medication.
Recreational drugs such as cannabis and opiates should be avoided as these may affect erection, desire and orgasm, usually through alterations of testosterone levels.
Reducing levels of (or ideally avoiding) pornography has been shown to improve erections, orgasm and sexual function in previous high-level users.
Dietary Supplements can be effective in mild cases or can be used to enhance the effect of other medications in severe cases. L-Arginine is an enhancer of the natural erection process but a dose of 2-3 grams is required. Folic Acid 5mg daily has been shown to enhance the effect of oral medications, especially in diabetes. Yohimbine, a natural plant extract, has been used for over fifty years to enhance erections. Saw Palmetto can improve ED and urinary symptoms. Many commercial preparations are available that combine some of these supplements.
Vitamin E has been shown to be beneficial for fertility both with and without ED medication.
Relaxation techniques such as meditation and massage.
For some men, being stressed may just make you irritable, but for others, too much stress can cause sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction. For these men, learning to relax and ease stress is all that may be needed to treat ED.
Below are a few relaxation exercises. But first, be sure that you have a quiet location that is free of distractions, a comfortable body position, and a good state of mind. Try to block out worries and distracting thoughts.
Rhythmic breathing: If your breathing is short and hurried, slow it down by taking long, slow breaths. Inhale slowly then exhale slowly. Count slowly to five as you inhale, and then count slowly to five as you exhale. As you exhale slowly, pay attention to how your body naturally relaxes. Recognising this change will help you to relax even more.
Deep breathing: Imagine a spot just below your navel. Breathe into that spot, filling your abdomen with air. Let the air fill you from the abdomen up, then let it out, like deflating a balloon. With every long, slow exhalation, you should feel more relaxed.
Visualised breathing: Find a comfortable place where you can close your eyes and combine slowed breathing with your imagination. Picture relaxation entering your body and tension leaving your body. Breathe deeply in a natural rhythm. Visualise your breath coming into your nostrils, going into the lungs and expanding the chest and abdomen. Then, visualise your breath going out the same way. Continue breathing, but each time you inhale, imagine that you are breathing in more relaxation. Each time you exhale imagine that you are getting rid of a little more tension.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Switch your thoughts to yourself and your breathing. Take a few deep breaths, exhaling slowly. Mentally scan your body. Notice areas that feel tense or cramped. Quickly loosen up these areas. Let go of as much tension as you can. Rotate your head in a smooth, circular motion once or twice. (Stop any movements that cause pain). Roll your shoulders forward and backward several times. Let all of your muscles completely relax. Recall a pleasant thought for a few seconds. Take another deep breath and exhale slowly. You should feel relaxed.
Relax to music: Combine relaxation exercises with your favourite music in the background. Select the type of music that lifts your mood or that you find soothing or calming. Some people find it easier to relax while listening to specially designed relaxation audio tapes, which provide music and relaxation instructions.
Mental imagery relaxation: Mental imagery relaxation, or guided imagery, is a proven form of focused relaxation that helps create harmony between the mind and body. Guided imagery coaches you in creating calm, peaceful images in your mind — a “mental escape.” Identify self-talk, that is, what you say to yourself about any problems you have. It is important to identify negative self-talk and develop healthy, positive self-talk. By making affirmations, you can counteract negative thoughts and emotions. Here are some positive statements you can practice:
Let go of things I cannot control.
I am healthy, vital, and strong.
There is nothing in the world I cannot handle.
All my needs are met.
I am completely and utterly safe.
Erectile dysfunction in younger men can benefit from relaxing massage. One of the immediate benefits of massage is a feeling of calm and deep relaxation, which can banish the stress that many men experience. This occurs because massage prompts the release of endorphins – the brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) that produce feelings of wellbeing.
Levels of stress hormones, such as adrenalin, cortisol and norepinephrine, are also reduced. Studies indicate that high levels of stress hormones impair the immune system.
Some of the physical benefits of massage and myotherapy include:
– Reduced muscle tension
– Improved circulation
– Stimulation of the lymphatic system
– Reduction of stress hormones
– Relaxation
– Increased joint mobility and flexibility
– Improved skin tone
– Improved recovery of soft tissue injuries
– Heightened mental alertness
– Reduced anxiety and depression
Blog
Human touch is a necessary component to anyone’s happiness, mental health, and well-being.
In general, human touch plays a tremendous role in our personal well-being and how we connect with others in our relationships.
Most social interactions consist of at least some type of touch, whether it’s a handshake, hug, or kiss on the cheek. While the specific gesture may depend on the culture, a lot of everyday human interaction uses touch to help build a trustful bond with others.
Human touch is an important part of non-verbal communication. When used properly, it can trigger a wide-range of different positive emotions including relaxation, comfort, security, or joy.
More broadly, touch is an important way we take in information about our world and understand it better.
One study published in Psychological Science discovered that exploring objects through touch can often give us a more detailed and durable memory of that object. And another interesting study published in Nature Scientific Reports discovered that when our eyes feel deceived, we often rely on our fingertips to test our reality.
Touch makes things more real to us. It’s a direct connection to our world and surroundings. And that’s not only true for better understanding our reality, but also better understanding our self and our relationships with others.
In one study published in Frontiers of Psychology, researchers discovered that loving, affective touch – such as a slow caress or stroke – can play an important role in developing a healthy sense of self and body ownership.
Touch makes us more aware of our personal boundaries, but it also lets those boundaries down by letting someone else enter our “personal space.” This type of intimacy – both friendly and romantic – often allows us to connect with another person at a deeper level.
Touch builds connectedness. And this is true whether it’s a romantic relationship with intimate kissing, cuddling, or intimate sensuality, or if it’s a friendly relationship like a sports team using high fives and secret handshakes to build camaraderie and group cohesion.
One of the best examples of how touch creates unity is a fascinating study published in Scientific Reports that discovered when lover’s “hold hands” their breathing and heart rates often sync up.
This perfectly illustrates how powerful touch can be when it comes to building a strong and loving bond with someone.
Like food and water, I believe human touch is a need that we all have to fulfil in our lives.
Of course, everyone has different “comfort levels” with touch – and some people may be more shy and reserved than others when it comes to various forms of physical intimacy – but the truth is we all need some element of touch in our lives to be happy and satisfied.
This is especially true when we are having a bad or stressful day. For example, a new study published in PLOS ONE found that a hug from someone (especially a friend or family member) helps buffer against stress and negative emotions.
We all need people to be there for us when we are down. And touch is one way people can support us during difficult times and show that they care without needing to say anything.
It feels good to get that physical support from someone – it makes us feel that we are less alone in the world and gives us the comfort of knowing that other people have our backs.
One of the most obvious needs for touch and intimacy comes from our romantic relationships, dating and marriage. Without physical intimacy, a relationship isn’t likely to last very long or be able to sustain itself. We want to be able to connect with people at a physical level (and it’s about a lot more than just sensual desire). Even just morning kisses and nighttime cuddles can make a big difference when it comes to long-lasting romance.
There’s no doubt about it: we want human touch and we need human touch.
– “Am I fulfilling my needs for human touch?”
– “What’s my relationship with touch? In general, am I too withdrawn or too clingy?”
– “How can I be more affectionate in my romantic relationships?” (kisses, cuddles, sensuality, etc.)
– “What types of touch am I most comfortable with? Least comfortable with?”
– “What are my favourite types of friendly touch?” (handshakes, high fives, hugs, etc.)
– “How have my past experiences shaped my relationship with touch?”
I believe there is an important balance to be found in how we use touch and fulfil our need for it.
Being too withdrawn from touch (and never seeking intimacy) can become just as harmful as being too attracted to touch (and needing constant intimacy) to feel good about ourselves.
Overall, our need for touch is something to be very mindful of. It’s an important desire on both a physical and mental level, and it’s important that we have a healthy relationship with touch and fulfill our need for it in a safe and consensual way.
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Wellbeing
Jet lag, also called desynchronosis and flight fatigue, is a temporary disorder that causes fatigue, insomnia, and other symptoms as a result of air travel across multiple time zones. It is considered a circadian rhythm sleep disorder, which is a disruption of the body’s circadian rhythms caused by traveling to different time zones. Relaxation techniques are a natural way to combat jet lag.
Massage can help reset your body’s internal clock, not to mention improve circulation and relieve achy muscles after a long flight.
We all know that massages are relaxing, but over and above that, they offer physical benefits. Reflexology massages are particularly effective against jet lag.
Reflexology massage targets the central nervous system and the pineal gland. Stimulating this gland increases the production of melatonin, which is needed for a healthy sleep-wake cycle.
Swedish or reflexology massage can be an effective way to encourage your body and mind to adjust back into a routine.
Combat jet lag with the help of magnesium. Studies show magnesium minimises pain, a factor which can otherwise disturb sleep and heighten jet lag sleepiness upon arrival. Magnesium is indicated to act as a muscle relaxing sleep aid, thought to help the body recover from disturbed sleep-wake patterns a common problem when crossing time zones.
Time zone changes can be particularly brutal when traveling to Australia, which is why The QT Sydney hotel offers a 2.5 hour-long jet lag recovery treatment with magnesium called the Weekend Warrior.
The Weekend Warrior is a 2.5-hour treatment that sees green tea, sea kelp and magnesium play hero in a spa session that aims to replenish energy and mineral levels, detoxify your system and knock out fatigue. The mineral magnesium acts as a muscle relaxing sleep aid to help the body reset disturbed sleep-wake patterns and improve sleep efficiency, while essential oils (including bergamot) are included to promote feelings of wellbeing, as well as assisting with insomnia.
Combining a sea salt body scrub, massage and custom facial using green tea, sea kelp and magnesium-rich salts, the whole process is designed to detoxify, boost circulation, calm the nervous system and fight fatigue all necessary remedies after sitting on a plane for a full day.
Massage therapy techniques selected for the treatment are specifically chosen to smooth out the bumps of travelling, boost circulation and calm the nervous system while the facial component is customised with a focus on removing the environmental build-up of impurities accumulated whilst travelling.
Potent Green Tea is known for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant qualities, while magnesium is responsible for promoting healthy energy levels, sleep, muscle function and overall well‐being. The combined ingredients of green tea, magnesium and sea kelp also promotes detoxification and fights fatigue.
Massage therapy provides great relief from those suffering from soreness, aches and discomfort often associated with long-haul travel. Soothing massage techniques in areas of specific tension or discomfort.
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Emotional intelligence is generally said to include at least three skills:
– Emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions
– The ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
– The ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same
There is no validated psychometric test or scale for emotional intelligence as there is for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that emotional intelligence is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, emotional intelligence “emotional quotient,” or “E.Q.” as it’s sometimes known has wide appeal among the general public, as well as in certain sectors. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated emotional intelligence tests into their application or interview processes, on the theory that someone high in emotional intelligence would make a better leader or coworker.
The first pillar of emotional intelligence is paying attention to your own emotions.
Emotions often come in two main parts: 1) The psychological component – the thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs that underlie most of our emotions, and 2) The physical component – the bodily sensations that often accompany different emotional states.
For example, an emotion such as nervousness may be a mixture of certain thoughts (“I’m not good at this” or “I’m scared I’m going to make a mistake”) and certain sensations in our bodies (a fluttery feeling in our stomach, e.g. “I have butterflies in my stomach”).
Sometimes just being more aware of our emotional states (and all their components) is enough to manage them better. In one recent study, they found simply labelling negative emotions can help you overcome them.
The next time you’re feeling a really strong emotion, try stepping back and just observing that emotion as it is. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What physical sensations am I experiencing with this emotion?”
A little honest reflection of your emotions can really help you understand yourself better and how your mind really works.
Once you are more aware of your emotions, the next pillar of emotional intelligence is learning how to respond to them better.
Depending on the situation, there are many different strategies we can use to better regulate our emotions. Some of these strategies include:
Channeling an emotion in a new and constructive way, such as through exercising, writing, or painting.
Avoiding triggers – such as certain people, situations, or environments – that are more likely to bring out a negative emotion.
Seeking positive experiences to reverse negative ruts (such as watching a comedy movie when we are feeling down, or listening to motivating music when we are lazy).
Turning emotions around by doing the opposite of what you feel.
Sitting and watching emotions as a passive observer, instead of acting on them impulsively.
These are all strategies available to us to help us regulate our emotions better on an everyday basis.
Think of “emotional intelligence” as a kind of toolkit. There are many different ways to respond to a particular emotion, and not every tool is going to work depending on what the situation is.
The more emotionally intelligent you become, the better you will be at deciding what is the best way to respond to an emotion. But that’s going to take steady practice and awareness.
Understanding your own emotions is half of emotional intelligence, the other half is understanding the emotions of others.
As we improve “self-awareness,” we also improve “other-awareness.” We learn that there is sometimes a difference between our own thoughts and feelings and the thoughts and feelings of others.
Empathy is our ability to see things from another person’s perspective – and to take into account their individual thoughts and feelings about an experience.
Of course, we can never understand another person’s mind completely, but we can actively learn about a person’s inner thoughts and feelings by paying attention to what they are communicating verbally and non-verbally.
Empathy is a kind of “mind-reading,” but it’s based on making inferences about people’s internal worlds based on their external actions.
Another powerful tool for improving empathy is perspective taking. This is a mental exercise where you literally imagine yourself experiencing a situation from another person’s perspective to better understand them.
Be more willing to ask yourself, “What is this person thinking? What is this person feeling? Why is this person acting in the way they do?” These types of questions will be a great starting point in building more empathy in your daily relationships.
Once you understand the emotions of yourself and others, the next question is “How do I respond to other people’s emotions?” This is where social skills comes in as the last pillar of emotional intelligence.
First, understand that a lot of our emotional world has a social component to it. For example, emotions such as love, guilt, rejection, and embarrassment are almost strictly social emotions (they rarely exist outside the context of our relationships with others).
To build healthy relationships it’s therefore important that we are attuned to other people’s emotions, especially how they respond to our own actions and speech.
If your actions cause negative emotions in other people, then that can hurt a relationship and your ability to connect with others in a meaningful way.
Cultivating positive emotions – like joy, optimism, excitement, and humour – is key toward bonding with others in a strong and lasting way.
Have you ever walked into a room of people who are really depressed or stressed out, and you immediately begin to feel depressed and stressed too? This is an example of emotional contagion, which is the idea that our emotions can often spread to others like a virus.
In the same way that other people’s emotions affect us, our emotions affect other people. So if you walk around life with a generally positive attitude, that is going to rub off on those you interact with (but you have to first have your own mind in order).
The social skills aspect of emotional intelligence is about becoming an “emotional leader” of sorts. But you need to practice turning negative people around by first being positive in yourself.
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There are many reasons that people chose to start yoga for some it’s about flexibility, or stress relief, general health and physical fitness.
The health benefits are very real. Yoga can increase your flexibility, improve your balance, and decrease your cholesterol. A recent review in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology shows that yoga can reduce the risk of heart disease as much as conventional exercise. On average, yoga participants lost five pounds, decreased their blood pressure, and lowered their low-density (“bad”) cholesterol by 12 points. There is vast growing body of research on how yoga improves health problems including chronic pain, fatigue, obesity, asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, and more.
Here’s a beginner’s routine for yoga for anyone to try, Morning Yoga for Confidence & Energy (Strength, Posture, and Mobility) from Man Flow Yoga.
1. Reduction in stress
Studies have shown that practicing daily yoga can reduce or even fully prevent insomnia. When experiencing insomnia, practice relaxing asanas or postures, such as forward fold (uttanasana), or child’s pose (balasana), or lying on your back with your feet up the wall. Relaxing yoga poses can calm both your body and mind.
2. Improve posture and flexibility
A few minutes a day practicing poses like the warrior or the downward facing dog, will soon make you really feel the difference in your flexibility, whether you’re pretty bendy already or not. Yoga is for all and whatever your level of flexibility you can find a yoga position that works for you and your body.
3. General fitness
Yoga gives you all that a gym can, but in a peaceful, safe and more holistic way. It combines aspects of cardio, functional and strength training all in one.
4. Weight loss
To truly grasp the concept of how weight loss and yoga go hand-in-hand, we must understand the three layers that our energetic bodies are comprised of: the mind, body, and soul. Each layer depends on and affects the other two. When one layer is unbalanced, such as the mind, the body and soul follow suit.
You cannot have a healthy body and pure soul if the mind is overactive and unbalanced, which is the case for more people than not. Luckily, yoga has a way of uniting and creating harmony among these three key decision-makers that rule your life.
When all three bosses get along, everything runs in a more balanced and efficient manner. You have a real chance at success and weight loss.
5. Increase your energy
Just a few minutes of yoga every day will provide that much-needed energy boost in our busy lives and will keep us fresh for longer. Yoga, with its unique synergy of body and breath work, is perfect when your reserves are running low.
Here’s another set of simple yoga poses to get you started with yoga.