Tag: <span>Sexuality</span>

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The Male G Spot

The Male G Spot

The Male G-Spot also known as the prostate can be the source of mind-blowing orgasms.

The prostate gland is about the size of a walnut and sits under the bladder, surrounding the top part of the urethra (the tube that takes urine out of the penis). It produces much of the seminal fluid that makes up ejaculate.

The prostate gland swells when you are aroused, and many men find that putting direct or indirect pressure on it during sex creates an intensely pleasurable sensation deep in their bodies and can lead to more powerful orgasms. 

For many men, the idea of someone touching their prostate sounds about as appealing as getting a root canal. But for other men — both straight and gay — exploring the prostate can bring new heights of sexual excitement and pleasure. It’s so pleasurable, in fact, that some sexual health experts have dubbed the prostate the “male G-spot.”

Men can even have prostate orgasms without stimulation to the penis.

“The orgasm from your prostate is a full body orgasm, and you feel a tingly sensation all over. This is opposed to the more isolated and direct pleasure from a regular orgasm through masturbation or penetration. In general, a prostate orgasm requires more time to warm up and more energy. But it’s totally worth it,” says Chris* (last name has been withheld for privacy reasons), a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles.

So, how do I find the male G spot?

The prostate gland swells when it’s aroused which means that you’ll have more luck finding it, and more pleasure from it, if you are already turned on when you start looking. 

Start by putting some lube on your fingers and massaging the outside of the anus, then gradually slip one or two fingers inside. To find the male G spot the fingers should be pointing up (toward the belly button). Try curling them a little bit like you’re making the universal signal for “come here.” Like we said earlier, you might feel the prostate gland as a small bump. 

Many men say that the first thing they notice when someone pushes on their G spot is feeling like they have to pee. This makes sense because the prostate is so close to the bladder. Take it as a sign that you’re in the right place, and keep applying pressure, or start gently massaging.

Be prepared

If you’re trying prostate massage by yourself, make sure your hands are clean. If you’re trying it with a partner, check their digits for any hangnails. Perhaps most importantly, “always use lube, as the anus does not self lubricate. If putting something in your rectum hurts, slow down and add more lube,” says Chris.

Take baby steps

Before going in, start with a gentle external massage on your perineum which is located between the testicles and anus.

“Take some time on your own to get to know your body. Lay on your back with your butt under a pillow, tilting your hips up for easy access. Start with massaging your perineum with your hand or fingers. Apply lube to your finger and rub your anus externally to stimulate the nerve endings,” says Chris.

Explore internal stimulation

If the external massage feels good, curve your (at this point, lubed-up) finger into your rectum towards your belly button. “Two or so inches in, you should be able to feel your prostate,” says Chris.

It’s important to note that you really don’t have to go much further than that, particularly on your first try. “People think you need to shove a whole hand up there, but that’s not how it works,” says Milstein. “Insert one finger a few inches into your anus and push up toward the rear. Wiggle it around a bit, tap the inner walls, and apply different amounts of pressure to see what feels good to you.”

What does a prostate orgasm feel like?

1 / My first prostate orgasm was a few months ago ‘I had a massager, made for prostate massaging, and decided to go for it. When the orgasm hit, it f*cking hit. A wave smashing into my groin; wave after wave smashing over the rest of my body. My skin felt super-receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp, and I felt a pressure building again. I had groaned loudly, and shot across the room. Multiple volleys of semen flew across the room, managing to hit the opposite wall. When it was over, I was still quivering. Gasping for air and trying to not to touch my body. I grazed my nipples and nearly had a seizure. I cleaned myself off after 10 minutes of trying to regain my composure. When I stood up, I couldn’t walk. My knees were quivering with exhaustion. It was intense beyond intense.’

2 / The male G spot orgasm feels a lot better than a normal orgasm
‘Still relatively similar in the way it feel, but just more intense. And longer lasting. I also find I generally come more as well.’

3 / For me, I find that I am simply overcome by the sheer power of the Orgasm.
‘It’s not a whole lot better, per se, but it is a lot stronger. After it happens, I’m stuck there out of breath and trembling for at least a few minutes – as if all of my energy had just been sucked out of my body and concentrated into a ridiculous orgasm. P-spot is the way to go. It doesn’t replace a regular orgasm, but it makes a really nice treat every once in a while.’

4 / They are amazing!
‘It feels like you’re brought to the brink of orgasm, but you stay there for a long time before the pleasure just takes over and you explode. I do think it can be difficult when you try to achieve a prostate orgasm by yourself. You end up focusing on the thrusts instead of being able to fixate on the immense pleasure. It’s much better with a partner when you are able to lie there and just enjoy the feeling, while they go to town on it.’

Your Tantric Massage Experience

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5 Ways to Find the Passion

“Curiosity is a key erotic element, as it keeps us interested in ourselves and in our partner” – Esther Perel

We desire secure and loving relationships which provide comfort and stability. On the other hand we have an equally strong need for adventure, novelty, and discovery. We strive to have both connection and freedom, to be close and safe but also to fan the flames of our desire.

What makes us feel emotionally secure is not always what turns us on erotically. If you want to reignite your love life, you must take on the responsibility of your own desire.

Here are 5 ways to find the passion and desire again:

1. Make a list of 10 things you do to turn yourself on and 10 things which turn you off.

I turn myself on / feel full of life when… I see good friends, think of a sexy encounter, do something new.

I turn myself off / feel dull within when… I repeat the same behaviours every week, I don’t exercise, I worry.

Recognise what ignites your passion and what dampens your fire, your joie de vivre. Invest in what brings you life and enjoyment.

2.If you are in a relationship remember that you don’t own your partner.

When you text or call your partner you expect them to answer.When you come home at night you expect them to be there, but remember they are separate from you. You do not entirely know their thoughts, you are not joined at the hip.

Recognise that your partner has their own autonomy, and ask yourself how can you strengthen your connection between these two separate and autonomous people.

Recognise your partner’s sovereignty because this can ignite eroticism as you are recognising their separateness from yourself. Curiosity is a key erotic element, as it keeps us interested in ourselves and in our partner.

3.Don’t wait for chance. Plan sex in advance.

Imagination is an essential erotic ingredient. Stay erotically engaged with someone for the long haul is an active engagement. Put effort toward making time for and creatively planning for intimacy.

How can you change things up with the consent of your partner? How often do you talk about trying new intimate things together which turn you both on?

4.See your partner with fresh eyes.

Ask yourself, “When do I find myself most drawn to my partner?” Not just sexually attracted to but drawn to.

Love is an exercise in selective perception. Novelty is the ability to let the unknown in, even in the midst of the familiar. When we see the person we know once again as somewhat mysterious, somewhat elusive, and somewhat unknown, it can give us a change in perspective.

5.Make time for yourself.

Human beings are not robots. I may be stating the obvious but you were not made to live for the 9 to 5 working week. Your life may involve a working environment which gives you energy which you find exciting. However remember that the 9 to 5 is not the sum of your life.

You are responsible for your happiness. Make time every day, every week, however often you can fit it in, to do things which make you happy and bring life to you. Actively make time for yourself, it will not happen by accident, you must make a choice to create your happiness.

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Expand Your Sensual Experiences

Expand your sensual experiences with this list of essential reading to expand your mind and intimate sensual experiences.

Let me be clear, I think Fifty Shades of Grey is an atrocious book which is badly written and doesn’t give an accurate depiction of BDSM. There is a world of better books out there from more reputable sources.

Here’s more from an article by Dr. I. Kerner…

But with the blockbuster success of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” many people are curious about dipping their toes (not to mention other body parts) into more sexually adventurous waters and sensual experiences.

I’m always careful to make clear that while the adventures of Ana and Christian may make for a compelling erotic yarn, their story is by no means an accurate depiction of BDSM relationships (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism), nor is “Fifty Shades” any sort of guide book.

For instruction on that topic, you’ll need to turn to the works of true sex-positive educators such as Clarisse Thorn or Tristan Taormino and their books “The S&M Feminist” and “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” respectively.

But there’s no denying that “Fifty Shades” has sparked widespread interest in how to improve our sex lives — and what better way to do that than via a good “how-to” book?

If you’re uncomfortable talking about sex to your friends, doctor, therapist or even your partner, such books can be an important resource, whether they impart new information, help you work through an issue, inspire you to become more adventurous or simply turn you on.

So, in the spirit of sharing, I asked some of my favourite sex experts to pick their favourite books on sex and sensual experiences.

Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of “Sex Made Easy:”

“Hands down, I recommend ‘The New Male Sexuality‘ by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic in the field, it gives a rich picture of men’s sexual lives including myths they’re taught about sex and common problems such as erectile issues, communication blocks and rapid ejaculation as well as solutions for these problems.”

Joe Kort, a clinical sexologist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health:

“I recommend Jack Morin’s ‘The Erotic Mind,’ which helps remove the shame of sexual behaviors and fantasies by understanding what they mean in a nonsexual way. Morin addresses where fantasies and desires come from and how shame can be removed and replaced with healthy acceptance for individuals and couples.”

Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure:

” ‘Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight‘ by Jamye Waxman and Emily Morse is a fun, sensual, seductive, creative and tantalizing book filled with more than 200 ways to tease, play, entwine and explore. When I coach couples who are in a sex rut, I suggest they use this book as a tool.”

Laura Berman, sex educator, researcher and therapist:

“If I had to pick, I would choose either ‘The Anatomy of Love‘ by Helen Fisher or ‘The 5 Love Languages‘ by Gary Chapman. Both are extremely helpful for couples to understand how men and women are wired differently and to learn how to love one another in a way that lasts.”

Justin Lehmiller, Harvard University social psychologist and online sex columnist at The Psychology of Human Sexuality:

” ‘The Technology of Orgasm‘ by Rachel Maines chronicles the history of ‘hysteria,’ a bogus female medical condition that led to invention of the vibrator. Maines’ book is a meticulously researched, fascinating and humorous look at the origin of hysteria and the birth of the motorised sex toy.

“I also adore ‘Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex‘ by Mary Roach, which traces the history of how scientists have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in a very engaging way that refuses to take itself too seriously and never gets bogged down in jargon or technicalities.

“On a personal level, ‘Bonk’ holds a special place in my heart for helping me realize how much fun a career in sex research could be.”

Megan Andelloux, certified sexuality educator and sexologist:

” ‘America’s War on Sex‘ by Marty Klein describes ridiculous sex laws and research that Americans are led to believe are true. It’s a must-read book for anyone interested in sociology, psychology, sexuality education, law and parenting.

“I’m also a fan of ‘My Secret Garden‘ by Nancy Friday, which discussed women’s fantasies well before erotica became truly popular.”

I’ve read and recommend many of these books myself, and this list is only the beginning of many exceptional works worth exploring and learning from.

In my opinion, no list would be complete without Esther Perel’s “Mating in Captivity,” an excellent guide to integrating a sense of sexual mystery into long-term relationships.

And on a personal note, in 10 years of writing sex books, my first, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,” remains my most popular.

At the time, I often mused that many men — through no fault of their own — knew more about what was under the hood of a car than under a woman’s clothes or what was behind her orgasm.

In writing “She Comes First,” I am grateful to the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers and their book, “A New View of a Woman’s Body” (unfortunately now out of print) and to Rebecca Chalker’s excellent book, “The Clitoral Truth.” Any man or woman truly interested in deepening their knowledge of a woman’s full sexual potential should give this book a read.

Expand your knowledge on sensual experiences and get reading.

Your Tantric Massage Experience

This blog post is adapted from an article authored by Dr. I. Kerner and can be found here https://www.goodinbed.com/blogs/sex_doctors/2012/08/great-books-about-sex/