Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a deliberate removal of stimuli from our senses. 

When stimuli are removed, instead of hibernating, the mind explodes with activity: visions, various auditory hallucinations and other perceptual distortions. In other words: without the distractions, mind tends to go into overdrive.

Over the years, studies have shown that sensory deprivation does induce psychosis-like experiences.

Pairing sensory deprivation with sensation play is a great entry point into the world of sensual play and kink. Manipulating the senses allows you to take a dip into BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism).

When you and your lover are playing and trying out sensory play always agree what is allowed and what is off limits before you begin. It’s essential to agree on your safe word with your partner and have trust between you. A safe word is established so that the action can be stopped instantly should anything go wrong. Whatever your safe word is, make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

When talking about what is allowed or off limits with your partner you could start the conversation with, “I really like it when…” or “I have a fantasy about ______ and was wondering if you would want to…” or “I really get turned on when…” or “I’ve always wanted to try…”

Trust and communication is key during BDSM and kink play.

Sensory deprivation is commonly used in BDSM and appeals to beginners as well as experienced players. Put simply, sensory deprivation is the act of removing one or more of the senses so the others become magnified or distorted.

Blindfolds and sensory deprivation

Blindfolds are one of the most common sensory deprivation tools. When our sight is taken away, we’re forced to rely on touch, smell, hearing, and taste. Cover the eyes and suddenly every sound becomes more seductive (or sinister depending on the mood you’re trying to set). Each touch feels more electric, tastes are more decadent, and our sense of smell becomes more keen.

While using a blindfold alone will kick your kink game up a notch, it can be even more impactful when layered with other things. You may wish to remove additional senses to erotically disorient your lover. You could add a pair of headphones playing music to your blindfold set-up, or play with the senses of touch, smell, and taste.

You can think of your partner’s sense of anticipation as your great ally throughout the session, and the absence of visual and verbal clues of what is about to happen next will greatly increase the erotic tension.

Sensation play

Every type of bodily touch elicits some sort of sensation. Sensation play is most effective when it involves opposing types of touch in succession. For instance, rough followed by soft, fast and slow, hot and cold, firm and gentle. This type of thoughtfully applied stimulation gets our endorphins and adrenaline flowing.  

One of the most versatile sensation tools are the hands. They can firmly massage or tickle with lightly stroking fingers. Put a rough mitten or soft, clean polishing mitt on each hand and rub those opposing sensations over your partner’s body in quick succession. Add lotion or oils to your bare hands to make them even more versatile tools. Leaning in close, slowly release warm breath on your partner’s oily skin. Blowing a firm stream of air will elicit a cool sensation on damp skin.

You can take the temperature play further with alternating things like ice cubes, cold or frozen grapes and warm washcloths.

If spanking is on your list of things to try be sure to spank safely. A key component to having spanking be safe and pleasurable is location, location, location. Focus spanking the buttocks this is a safe area to spank.

AVOID SPANKING THESE AREAS – the tailbone / base of the spine, outside of the buttocks, lower thighs, the back of the knees, and where the bottom ends and the thighs begin. It’s easy to damage the base of the spine or kidneys if your spanking gets out of the safe zone.

When we get spanked, more blood flows to the skin, the muscles relax and arousal builds. Warm your partner up with softer spanks. Massage the l butt and thighs, the more relaxed we are, the better spanking can feel. Watch their body language for cues that they’re beginning to get turned on. You may want to include other stimulation such as genital play or tickling to heighten sensation.

When your partner is warmed up, their skin will probably feel warmer and (depending on their skin tone) may be a bit pink. They may also relax into the sensation or make appreciative sounds. However your partner expresses their pleasure, make sure to linger here before taking it further, you’ll be rewarded later.

If you’re not sure what you or your partner likes, start slow and ask. One great way to do that is to spank once and ask them to rate it on a scale of one to ten. Another way is to do two different strokes and ask which one felt better. And remember that what we like changes when we’re turned on and warmed up, so feel free to mix it up a bit.

The spankee can give cues that particular stroke pattern or strength is enjoyable by wiggling or squirming in your lap, or letting out a squeal. They can also let the spanker know something was not so enjoyable by saying things like: “no not there”, “too hard” or “that didn’t feel good.” 

To make the most of sensory deprivation in intimate and sensory play , go slow, let your imagination run wild and try using an imaginative sequence of moves, and a different pace than the two of you are used to in your everyday intimate play with each other. But most of all, don’t be selfish when you’re in control, think about how to give the most pleasurable experience to your partner.

Enjoy your role as the director of your partner’s sensory deprived pleasure trip. Communicate with each other, establish trust and play safe.