Life Skills: Emotional Intelligence

Life Skills: Emotional intelligence or E.I., (also called E.Q.) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they’re feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.

According to Daniel Goleman , an American psychologist who helped to popularise emotional intelligence as a life skill, says there are five key elements to E.I.

1. Self awareness
2. Self regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social skills

1. Self awareness

If you’re self aware, this life skill means that you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self aware means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses and it means behaving with humility.

So, what can you do to improve your self awareness?

• Keep a journal – Journals help you improve your self awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self awareness.
• Slow down – When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it. This is a key life skill.

2. Self regulation

Self regulation is all about staying in control. People who can regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others. They don’t make rushed or emotional decisions, they hold back from stereotyping people, and don’t compromise their values. It’s about thinking before you speak, and thinking before you act.

3. Motivation

Self motivated people work consistently toward their goals, tend to have high standards for the quality of their life, and they have good self esteem. They are hopeful for good things, and take action towards achieving their goals. Each small step can get us closer to our goals.

4. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s situation.

How can you improve your empathy?

• Put yourself in someone else’s position – It’s easy to support your own point of view. After all, it’s yours! But take the time to look at situations from other people’s perspectives.
• Pay attention to body language – Perhaps when you listen to someone, you cross your arms, move your feet back and forth, or bite your lip. This body language  tells others how you really feel about a situation, and the message you’re giving isn’t positive! Learning to read body language can be a real asset, because you’ll be better able to determine how someone truly feels. This gives you the opportunity to respond appropriately.
• Respond to feelings – For example, you ask an assistant to work late, and although they agree, you can hear the disappointment in their voice. So, respond by addressing feelings. Tell them you appreciate how willing they are to work extra hours, and that you’re just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue, for example giving them time off on another day. Responding to feelings is an important element of life skills.

5. Social Skills

People who have strong social skills, an element of emotional intelligence, tend to be great communicators.

How can you build social skills?

• Improve your communication skills – How well do you communicate? Communication is one of the key life skills. Take this communication quiz  to help you answer this question, and it will give useful feedback on what you can do to improve.
• Learn conflict resolution – Everyone can benefit from understanding how to resolve conflicts. Learning conflict resolution  skills is a vital life skill.

From an original article in MindTools, read the full article here

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